altoid mints

LLC: What is your favorite mint?

JMM: Curiously, my favorite mints are Altoids. Rather, I should say my favorite mint used to be Altoids. I'm never going to buy the little sumbitches again. Not going to eat them, either.

LCC: Pray tell, why not?

JMM: Their pornographic ad on the inside back cover of the January 1999 issue of Wired magazine. It's an exploitive piece of shit. Whoever came up with that ad, and whoever approved it, ought to be put on the rack.

LCC: Say, that's strong language. What's your problem, dude?

JMM: Don't dude me, you effete wanker. Just take a look at it. Are you fecking blind, or what?

altoid ad

LCC: But it's just a little kid with a long tongue licking an Altoids Wintergreen Mints box...

JMM: Don't you read? Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton, Oval Office fellatio avec Altoid Mints? Does that ring any bells?

Hey, little kids don't buy strongly flavored mints in expensive tin cans imported from Great Britain.

I don't care what consenting adults do with mints, cigars, or last summer's zucchinis, but I draw the line at involving children in any way. And where the hell were that kid's parents?

LCC: Oh, my gawwd...you don't think they would intentionally run an ad like that, do you?

JMM: Give me a break...